Posts tagged God
Posts tagged God
What happened: The 2012 New York Yankees bowed meekly before their new divisional overlords, losing a pair against the Jays and splitting with the “first-place” Orioles.
True Yankee™ gainers: Robinson Cano, the only Yankee who remembered to pack a bat for the Baltimore/Toronto field trip… Boone Logan, who’s been missing bats at a semi-Robertsonian clip in recent weeks… Derek Jeter, for extending his no-double-play streak to two games. If that isn’t leadership, I don’t know what is.
True Yankee™ waners: God, who hath smote the bullpen’s most pious minions… Mark Teixeira, because he can’t shake his cough and I can’t shake the feeling that this team would score more runs with Cano/Swisher/Granderson hitting 3-4-5. This would relegate Tex to batting 6th, or even lower against righty pitching… Alex Rodriguez, because he’s going into you-must-love-me overdrive in the wake of his power-deficient start. Expect a major-outlet interview in which he expresses great respect for the fans and says either “team” or some variation thereon (teamwork, teammate, etc.) 320 times over the course of 7 minutes.
What’s next: The Yankees come home, heads hanging hangdog-low, to play a pair against the Reds (defining characteristic: stubborn refusal to acknowledge necessity of OBP atop the batting order) and Royals (defining characteristic: lack of defining characteristic).
True Yankee™ on the spot: Joe Girardi. It’s difficult to get out-managed by Dusty Baker, most recently seen shoehorning his best pitcher into a medium-leverage role while chomping on a flame-broiled toothpick. But the possibility exists - think a late-game bunt for Martin or Jeter. Just to be safe, somebody oughta double-laminate the batter/pitcher pages of The Binder.