Posts tagged David Robertson

What happened: The 2012 New York Yankees won a mere two of three games against the Tampa Bay Rays, blowing perhaps their final opportunity to vault themselves back into the top-o’-the-division thicket.

True Yankee™ gainers: Robinson Cano, who has started to hit like Robinson Cano - an odd coincidence, given that his name is Robinson Cano - and thus defied the small-sample simpletons who read too much into his early-season sluggishness…C.C. Sabathia, though this is the last time we’ll celebrate a stopper-pitching-like-an-stopper performance in this space. Nobody celebrates a donut for tasting like a donut, am I right? Am I right?… Derek Jeter, for handling his first slumpy week of the season with the steely resolve of Walter Cronkite, Anne Frank and Bruce Wayne combined. And it isn’t like the stat skeptics are monitoring his ground-ball rate or anything like that. Nuh-uh.

True Yankee™ waners: David Robertson, for not only surrendering his first run in like half a season, but also for registering the Yankees’ first blown save since the John Wetteland era. Mariano must be turning over in his bed… Eduardo Nunez, a ball magnet no matter where you try to hide him on the diamond. Somehow he’ll find a way to undermine team defense from Rochester… Alex Rodriguez, who hasn’t hit a home run or driven in a run since Sunday. Let the on-base-getters-on get on base, Alex. Your job is to hit the ball far and refrain from preening like a jerkhole. Get with the program.

What’s next: The Seattle Mariners roll into town, all bright eyes and hopeful grins. Then the Yankees do a quickie two-stop road trip to play the Blue Jays and the “first place” Orioles before returning home for… interleague play? Already? The season has entered its adolescence.

True Yankee™ on the spot: Hiroki “Hideki” Kuroda. If he can’t shut down the Seattle lineup, we’re gonna start crafting a “dude can only get out little-ball National Leaguers, who slap and wiggle and bunt like the faeries of yore” narrative for him from which he’ll struggle to write himself out.

And finally, the bullpen.

Certified True Yankees™

Mariano Rivera: Don’t get me wrong - his Yankeeness is as True™ as the oceans are vast, as the stars are bright, as the sun is burny-glowy. If True Yankees™ were luxury cars, he’d be the Bentley/Maybach hybrid offered only to the world’s eminent financiers and clergymen. That said, The Great Rivera contributes 60-70 innings per season, which isn’t a lot. Even factoring in the utterly unquantifiable peace of mind his presence bestows, his True Yankeeicity™ has to rank behind modern-era pal Derek Jeter and long-ago legends like Gehrig, Ruth, Berra, DiMaggio, Ford, Mantle and the rest.

Decent case for True-Yankee™ enshrinement

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Perhaps a True Yankee™ somewhere down the road

David Robertson: Between his general amiability, his wealth of charity work and his recent track record of striking out the universe when there’s a runner on third and fewer than two outs, Robertson has built up a boatload of goodwill for the time when (if?) he inherits the closer gig. That goodwill reservoir should sustain him through three blown saves and a tabloid shitstorm or two.

Joba Chamberlain: Imagine how differently the keepers of the True Yankee™ flame would’ve reacted if it had been A-Rod who injured himself while trampolining with his two daughters. Void his contract! Rescind his parental-visitation privileges! Pronounce him in violation of God’s law! Etc.

Not a True Yankee™ unless he volunteers to spend a weekend afternoon helping Don Mattingly move

Rafael Soriano: Brian Cashman, who has already staked out real estate in the team administrator/architect wing of the True Yankee™ museum (a building so elegant and pleasing to the senses it makes the Guggenheim look like a giant pale turd), never wanted him around. That in itself would be enough to disqualify Soriano from True Yankee™ consideration, but then he went and, in the greatest betrayal since that one guy did that thing to Jesus, ducked the media after a crummy outing. Shame on him and the parents who raised him.

Boone Logan: Seems like a nice enough fellow. Not a True Yankee™. Back-o’-the-pen pitchers are fungible.

Cory Wade: Seems like a nice enough fellow. Not a True Yankee™. Back-o’-the-pen pitchers are fungible and everybody knows this, except the Mets.

Clay Rapada/second lefty in pen: Too soon to say if he’s a nice enough fellow. Not a True Yankee™ regardless. Back-o’-the-pen pitchers are fungible and everybody knows this, except the Mets. True Yankees™ stand the test of time, like mountains or acid-etched graffiti.